You're Gonna Be a Daddy!
by Mishkoret
Summary: Sasuke gets some very interesting news from several different people...how will he handle it? Sasunaru, mpreg, oneshot.


Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.

A/N: In honor of a recent announcement made to us about a topic similar to this story, we have decided to write a Sasunaru about it.

Warning: Yaoi, mpreg, etc…..no likey, no ready.

**You're Gonna Be a Daddy!**

By: Mishka-chan and Anchoret-chan

Sasuke started out his day normally. Got out of bed. Kissed Naruto on the forehead. Took a shower. Got dressed. Nearly died tripping over Naruto's clothes on the floor. Cursed his lover's slovenly habits under his breath. Left with a sigh, sad that he couldn't stay home and lay in bed all day.

" Hi, Sasuke-kun! " Sakura purred. Sasuke shuddered.

" Yes, Sakura? "

" You're gonna be a daddy! "

" What?! "

" You're. Gonna. Be. A. Daddy. "

" What do you mean? "

" Well, you see, when two people love each other very much, they sometimes start to feel a desire to take their clothes off… "

" Shut up! That's not what I meant! You moron! Who is having my baby? "

" Shouldn't you know that? "

Then she disappeared.

Next thing Sasuke knew, he was ambushed by a smirking Ino.

" Hey, Sasuke. "

" Oh my God, what? "

" You're gonna be a dad. "

" No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shut up! Not you too! "

" Sasuke, don't freak out so much! Babies are miracles! "

" Not two miracles! No!!!!!!!!! "

Hinata slowly approached Sasuke, blushing and trying not to tremble in fear.

" U-U-Uchiha-san? "

" What? "

" You're going to…to…to be a father. "

At this moment, Sasuke started to run, crying all the while.

In the middle of his frantic dash, Sasuke bumped into Kakashi.

" Ne….Sasuke-kun, where are you running to? "

" Away, away from them! "

" From who? "

" THEM! "

" Okay…well, I have wonderful news for you, Sasuke. "

Sasuke gave Kakashi a look of pure fear.

" You're gonna be a daddy! "

Sasuke took off running once more.

Hearing Kiba scream after him, " Yo, have you heard the news? " he stopped suddenly.

" What. News. "

" You're gonna be a dad! Yo, man! "

Sasuke backed up and continued running at the speed of teen angst.

Naruto had just risen from his bed when he heard the door slam shut. A flustered, terrified Sasuke burst into the bedroom.

" Sasuke…? "

" Naruto, pack your things, now! We're going somewhere far away, for a very long time! "

" But why? "  
" The news…that terrible coming of doom…I must run from it. "

" What? It's terrible? "

Naruto burst into tears. Sasuke looked at him incredulously.

" What are you crying about? "

" The news is terrible! "

" Yes! That's my entire paycheck and a half to child support by the time they get done with me, not to mention, Ino and Sakura will BOTH want to marry me…and how did that happen in the first place? "

" Ino…Sakura…what are you talking about? "

" The whole village! I somehow got the whole village pregnant on the same day! "

" What? You cheated on me!!!!!!! "

" No, I didn't! "

" Oh, so they all got pregnant by invitro-fertilization on the same day? "

" Yes, I guess so! Now, come on! "

" No! I hate you! "

" Why? "

" Because I wanted to be the only one having your baby! "

" What? "

" I'm pregnant, damnit, Sasuke! "

Sasuke was struck silent.

" Maybe that's what they meant… "

The next second, their house was filled with most of the village trying to explain things to Sasuke. Eventually, he figured it out and locked himself in the bathroom. Then the other people left, and Sasuke and Naruto….celebrated.

3 months later

" Agh! Sasuke, how dare you! "

" How dare I what? "

" Look at me like that! "

" Like what? "

" Like that! "

" What are you talking about, dobe? "

" Don't call the mother of your child 'dobe', asshole!"

"Don't call the father of your child an 'asshole', dumbass!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!!!!!!!!!"

"A DUMBASS!" Naruto then suddenly broke into tears.

"Sasuke doesn't love me! He thinks I'm fat, ugly, and a moron! He doesn't want me anymore! I mean I understand, except I don't understand! How dare you? I am going to leave you, and go far, far away to Suna, and Gaara will take care of me! He loves me more than you do, and you'll never see your child ever again, and I will charge you child support! YOU ARE AN EVIL MUNIPULATIVE BASTARD!!!!!!!!!"

"What the hell!"

Naruto runs out of the house, then runs back in.

"It's cold out there I need a coat!" He grabs a coat runs back out, and then back in. "It's snowing I'll wait until it stops snowing."

"It's July."

"OKAY, I MISSED YOU! DID YOU MISS ME? DO YOU LOVE ME?"  
"Yes… I love you, get in here."

Six months later

"I HATE YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! I AM NEVER LETTING YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN! IT'S YOU AND YOUR DIRTY MIND, AND YOUR ROMAN HANDS!"

"It's roaming hands, Naruto…"

"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU TOO, TSUNADE, AND YOU SAKURA, I HATE THAT BIRD TWEETING OUTSIDE, But I love this wonderful IV, pumping me full of wonderful morphine."

Thirty-six hours later…

"Aw!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura's yaoi fangirl-ish squeal nearly broke the eardrums of all in a five hundred mile radius.

"She's so cute!" Added a nurse.

"Oh my God, is it over yet?" Sasuke groaned.

Sakura elbowed him. "Look at your daughter!"

Sasuke took the tiny infant in his arms. Her wispy hair reminded him of Naruto, but she had the porcelain skin like her father. Then he looked to Naruto, who was finally smiling.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" Commented Mishka, who had silently entered the room, followed by the ever-present Neji.

"Oh God, what now?" Asked Naruto in horror.

"You should name her Mishka."

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Both Sasuke and Naruto screamed in unison.

Three weeks later

Hana Mishka Sakino Uchiha woke up crying. (Anchoret: You see, what happened was that Ino and Sakura, with Mishka and Neji's help, tied up Sasuke and forced… Mishka: Shhh…they don't have to know the rest…)

Naruto elbowed Sasuke. "Your turn."

"Yours."

"Yours!"

"Yours!"

THE END


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